Random thoughts

I thought of retiring early, like in my 40s, but I immediately discarded my thoughts. First of all, I don't earn a high income. Also, I live in a third world country. I have no house, no car, no assets, no properties (aside from my trinkets). I can save a lot now since I live in my parents house and I don't spend money too much. But it's not enough. I will soon buy a house and a car and build a family. It's a pipe dream. 

I'm really grateful for my job, I don't get stressed much and I can do a lot of other things since I work from home. But there are some fears that I can't help but think, like, what if I got laid off? What if this company fires me and I don't have any backup? What if no one will hire me anymore? I know that my savings is not enough to sustain me because of inflation and I still need to work until 65, but I can't help but think about what would happen to me in the future. I don't want to be a burden to anyone and I want to help others instead of getting help from them.

I'm not busy enough to shush the voices in my head, that's why I'm having these thoughts in my head. I have work to do but I'm procrastinating. I really abhor the corrupt politicians in this country with their never-ending greed. They have a lot of money but the people in this country are suffering with debts.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, being miserable and hopeless, because at least I have a job. But I live in this country and I can't help but think that this country and my fellow citizens will just continue to be poorer each day. The unemployment rate is rising, and the country's debts are rising as well. I want to live my life to the fullest and not just be in a survival mode. Why do they choose to ruin other's life? They could just be businessmen or corporate workers, but they chose that path to earn lots of hard earned money from poor people. When will be truly liberated? Is the democracy really used properly? Or is it just a facade on what is really happening underneath?

Mahatma Gandhi — 'The world has enough for everyone's need, but not enough for everyone's greed.'

Either way, I shouldn't blame others on what I cannot achieve, and I should be grateful on what I can do. I should just work harder to live life to the fullest and achieve financial independence. I should put my trust on the Lord and continue to follow Him. I should always remember what the Scripture says in Matthew 6:25-34 about worrying about the future.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Even though my fears are surfacing in times like this, I should never forget the reassurance that the Lord has given us, and I should find ways to be grateful in my everyday life.

Regards,

Pauline